It's four thirty in the morning and it looks like my god damn insomnia is back. It's been a long time since I've been up and unable to sleep, and I'm not happy. B's daughter gave birth on 4/11, two days after having her water break at her nephew's birthday party. It wasn't a big break, and the baby's head kind of sealed the tear, so the doctor had to further break the sack and labor commenced.
At forst I was wondering if I'd even be at the birth, b=due to N's not wanting me and her father in the same place at the same time. I don't know why, I have nothing against the man, and as far as I know he has nothing against me (especially considering that I've housed and taken care of his kids for the past seven years), but that's neither hear nor there, as he was out of town and I was in town.
The baby girl is adorable. Too bad I won't be here to see her nor her cousin grow up. When I picked B up from work last night/this morning she told me that she wants to step down from her supervisor role at work and just be a cashier Which would mean less hours for her. This a week after telling me that she wanted to help out more with the bills. I asked her about this and she didn't have an answer for the disparity nor how she's manage to pay more of the bills.
Her oldest son R. recently started a part time job, but I doubt that he's going to have any money to put towards household expenses once the state finds out he's working and takes their cut to pay his back child support not to mention the ongoing support (something he's not paid in two years due to being a lazy SOB and not working since he had his court battle against his ex for his parental rights.) He still owes the lawyer about 9,000 in fees as well.
I'm pissed at B for even thinking about cutting her hours when I wiped out my retirement and savings trying to pay all the bills for the past seven years alone. So couple putting even more pressure on me to find ever higher paying contracts/jobs to pay for adults who should be paying their own way, with the fact that I get little to no respect from two of the three kids I support, and a girlfriend who has no interest in anything that interests me and with whom I have very little in common with AND who restricts sex to once a week if I'm lucky and does nothing at all in the way of foreplay to arouse me during sex and I've reached my limit. Dwelling on this is why I'm awake at this ungodly hour.
I have a date with W this weekend and we get to spend the night together in an leisurely and hopefully romantic manner (I have no idea if sex is still a possibility since she had taken it off the table several months ago until she moves out of her un-boyfriend's place).
SIGH..... I hate moving. Such a pain in the ass.
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