And a Happy New Year

After the debacle that was Christmas this year I was really looking forward to my date with W a couple of days after. Like me W is a geek. She loves Scifi/fantasy comics etc... her and I both came to Doctor Who in the 1970s with Tom Baker as the 4th Doctor to take up residence in the Tardis. So when I found out that the new Doctor Who Christmas special was going to be in the theaters (this happens on a regular basis and I always go).  I asked W is she wanted to go and she agreed. She wasn't familiar with the new Doctor, but she wanted to check it out. I got us tickets and I was really hoping that she would be able to get off of work early enough for us to spend some time alone in a hotel room. After all with everything going on with the holidays and our schedules and distance being what they are, we haven't had sex since October. I was really craving some. But it was not to be.

While we were talking on Christmas Day W told me that she had a cold sore and wanted to refrain from kissing. I thought she was kidding. This was mistake number one. Me making light of it was mistake number two.

We'd agreed on a restaurant  @ Universal City Walk for dinner. As the movie was playing there and it was halfway between where we both lived. I made reservations and was excited to see her. We talked most of the way on the commute there, and when we met up at the parking garage I gave her a kiss. And this became the beginning of mistake number three and why I'm so miserable today. 

I did something I rarely do, I shared a prime rib. It's weird, I never split a dish with anyone and  and usually eat one by myself, and yet the last two times W and I have had dinner we split the dish between us and I wasn't hungry afterwards.  Dinner service was slow, and we barely made it to the movie theater for the start of the show. nice reclining seats, very comfortable. Holding hands with W or having her snuggle up against me was divine. 

She liked the show and afterwards we walked around City walk, got coffee and enjoyed each other's company. It felt so right. Of course till I had to say good night and we went our seperate ways. We didn't talk on the way back, but I did get a text telling me she got home safe and few minutes later I texted her the same. that's when I learned of the error of my ways. 

I knew she didn't want to kiss due to her cold sore (which she said was getting better), but throughout the night I kept kissing her. I was wrong to do so. I didn't respect her wishes,  her boundaries. The movie and and rest of the night with her was great. I couldn't resist kissing her even though they were pecks and not full out kissing like we typically do.

In the texts from the end of the night she explained why she was upset. and that I disappointed her. I understood and apologized. We've shared a couple of texts, but she basically told me that she's avoiding talking to me. Yet she says we're okay. I don't understand that. If we're okay, then why not talk to me? 

I've not had any contact with W aside from a few terse texts since Tues. I understand I screwed up badly and it's going to take a lot to earn back her trust. I'm going to honor my agreement not to contact her and let her get in touch with me. We have another date scheduled for later in January and at this point I don't know if I'm going alone or if she'll be joining me. 

I hope she has a good New Year's Eve. I know that I won't be. Aside from the fact that I've been fighting a stomach flue since Weds. morning, the weather is grey and drizzling and fully matches my gloomy mood.

Happy New Year's everyone. 2017 has to be better than 2016.