Saturday, November 19, 2016

Exit Plan...

That's it... I'm done. I'm out. I can't take it anymore.

I've started formulating my exit from my current relationship with B and her kids. It started on Monday night when I got back from seeing W. I stopped by B's work to talk with her beheading home. She wasn't going to be home until around 1:30am or so and I'd be fast asleep by then. While we were talking, she brought up the topic of our once a week sex life. A few weeks ago I challenged her to have sex once a week since our usual span was once every 3-8 weeks and I wanted it more frequently than that. I said it was getting better but I'd still prefer more frequent sex. 

She thinks once a week is fine any more and it wouldn't be as intense. What she fails to understand no matter how many times I explain it, what makes it intense is her active participation. Her touching me and wanting to be touched. I still don't get any oral from her and her foreplay consists of just kissing me, running her hands over my body and her occasionally grabbing my cock and stroking it. Not really intense from my perspective, but much better than it has been the last few years. I still do the lion's share of the work.


It continued Thursday night when B, her middle child (a son) and I went out to dinner. Her oldest and youngest were at a hockey game. The dinner conversation was so ironic it kills me. It finally convinced me that there's really no hope and no reason to stay. Her son T was lamenting about the state of his and his girlfriend's relationship.

Apparently in the year they've been going out, they've had sex twice. They're 27 years old btw. There's a few other other issues between them besides the Dead Bedroom but they're not germain to the conversation at hand.

My LL GF was telling him that this was a red flag of major proportions. And I agreed. She said that perhaps he should find someone more sexually compatible with him.
Oh man the irony in that answer.
When we got home, I asked if she saw the irony in the situation.
She said and I quote, "it's different, they're young"
I said age doesn't matter. She replied that I am delusional.

I'm delusional.... I let that sink in.. For what wanting a healthy physical relationship with the woman I love and have loved most of my life? 

This just made my decision so much easier. I finally realized that I'm fighting a losing battle. 

Then Friday night was the final straw for me. We were driving along with her pregnant daughter N to the store to get some fixings for Thanksgiving dinner. Now before I continue, N & and I have a very contentious relationship. She's a very rude, dismissive, quarrelsome young woman who has moments of sweetness. Everyone in the family has felt her biting commentary. Her brother T wants nothing to do with her and goes out of his way to avoid her. The eldest son R feed into her and when the two of them start arguing I want to get out of the house as quickly as I can. I can usually handle one or the other just fine but th etwo of them together forget it. I think about running and never going back.

Back to the story at hand: The lane I was in had some construction ahead and was closed. Both B & N yelled at me like I didn't see it and that I should have gotten over much sooner. I'd had enough. I pulled over and got out of the car and told them both that I'm no longer driving someone else can drive. I'm tired of hearing crap from the back seat drivers. 

I told them both to shut up. N lashes out and says "Don't ever tell me or my mom to shut up" I tell her I'll say waht ever I want. Mind you now we're in my car. I should have told her to get out and walk but I'm not that mean.

I told them that I'm done, I can't take this any more and that as soon as I can, I am moving out. N says fine we don't need you. I thought to myself oh yeah, lets see, I pay the rent, utilities, insurance her mom's cell phone, Cable, internet, etc... Without me they'd be homeless. phone less, with one car between the three of them. T has his own car is the only responsible child. R hasn't worked in two years and is not looking, N has never had a job despite being 22 years old. None of the three help out in the house unless cajoled. 

I'm tired of being in a family where 3/5s of them don't do shit for the household. Good fucking riddance I say. 

At this point I don't care what happens to them. Where they live or don't live. 

I'll be starting a new job after Thanksgiving and I once I save up some money I'm out. I don't care if I move into an apartment for a few months. I'll take my stuff, some furniture and pots and pans that I came into the relationship with and move out. 

 I. AM. DONE.

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