I've been married three times now and have been living with my girlfriend B for the past 6 years.
In each of my relationships, there's been a few distinct commonalities that I noticed.
1: Most of the women that I've loved and I have had very few shared interests.
I'm a techie who works in I.T. and has almost my entire career. I'm a geek that loves Science Fiction, Horror, and some fantasy. I'm a huge fan of Bruce Springsteen and have seen him over 40 times in the last 36 years.
I'm a lifelong atheist. I've never believed in any deity, I had a reform Jewish upbringing, that ended after my Bar-Mitzvah.
My major hobbies are Astronomy, and Photography with a bunch of minor ones thrown in for good measure. I like to say the world is my hobby, I'm in information junkie who follows the news in Science, Politics, Economics, some entertainment, and tries to stay well informed on world events. Politically I'm independant hewing to no party. I've voted for both Democrats, Republicans, and other parties. I try and pick the candidate that will do the least harm while in office.
None of the women shared these feelings. My first wife P was and is a staunch Republican/right-winger. She hated SF, etc... didn't mind the photography, and just never got the science part of me. She hates Springsteen. With a passion. So why did we love each other enough to get married and have kids? I'm still trying to figure that out. I do know that after High School when neither of the partners we wanted to be with were available (and in my case neither my first or second choice of partner) it's entirely possible that both of us drifted together out of comfort and loneliness. I don't know for sure, and after so many years, I don't remember. I do know that we loved each other. but why I don't know.
My second wife L was a rebound when the woman who would later become my third wife rejected me and a marriage proposal that I never actually made. This devastated my spirit and I went into automatic pilot mode where I didn't care about anything or anyone. There's a lot more to say about our relationship and why it began and ended, but of all the women we shared most of the same tasted and likes. She was also an Jewish atheist, she loved SF, fantasy, etc... as much as I did. Most importantly L was as big a Springsteen fan as I was. I finally had a partner to go to the concerts with me, to Stand in line for tickets (pre-internet days folks), to go the the record store and get the latest album at midnight of the day of release and listen to it before going to sleep. It was wonderful. But it too was doomed to failure.
My third wife E, I actually met after P and I split. My current GF B introduced us, thought we'd make good friends. She did not expect us to fall in love, nor for us to have sex. To this day I think B was trying to keep me on ice for when she wanted to play. She of course denies this.
E and I were probably the most diametrically opposite of partners in my life. we too had almost nothing in common save a love of books and reading. She was and as far as I know still is and fundamentalist Christian. She didn't believe in sex before marriage, but yet she and I fucked like rabbits the first years we dated. She didn't like sci-fi etc... and didn't like Bruce either. Religion was a major bone of contention between us. and was a root cause for the failure of our marriage.
B & I have the same discrepancies in our lives. She doesn't like Bruce, SF, etc... We have some music in common and a couple of TV shows that we watch together, but not much else. Like My relationships with P & E, B and I spend times in separate rooms when we're both home. B is a christian, but unlike E doesn't try and force it on me. She goes to church occasionally, and while she's not happy I'm an atheist, she doesn't try and convert me.
This entry has already gone far over the length I expected it to, so I'll continue the remaining patterns later.
I do however wonder why I seem to be drawn to women that I have very little in anything in common with. Or for that matter why seem drawn to me.
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